Musings

It occurs to me that I’ve used this space too frequently of late as an avenue for venting and the occasional rant. Those of you kind enough to respond have been very supportive and that has been most welcomed. The last week has been a little tough as sleeping is frequently interrupted after the break-in to our bedroom. From the shadow of the guy and the size of the shoes he left by the window he was small, probably just a kid but the sense of violation of security is quite real and a pain to process through.
We are prevailing however. Lynne is incredible in that I never expected to see her grow so much and so fast. She is at ease with most anyone here, and is well known in many circles. Me, I’m just the guy that commutes to the hospital every day. Although I will state categorically that this has been most invigorating. I truly have no regrets. I think it will take about 6 mos before the pratfalls, pitfalls, and stupid foreigner stuff eases back. I feel myself changing ever so slowly; thinning out, looking for the teachable moment on the wards, becoming more comfortable with the breadth and depth of disease, more pragmatic about death.
Certainly death is frequent here, often referred to as being “late”. It is a privilege to witness it first hand and know the dignity that accompanies it. An added bonus is to vicariously experience it through my students who often are seeing it for the first time.
Nicola and I get together every Wednesday evening to talk shop and drink some beer and whiskey. It’s fascinating how we come from such different backgrounds, different eras in medicine (he is two years older than our eldest) and share similar values, ideas regarding teaching and treatment, and the like. Lynne is a great host in that she quietly rolls her eyes as we giggle like little boys caught with our hands in the cookie jar, but we get a lot done on these evenings. I get to osmoze some infectious disease info and he gets to unwind and just be himself for an evening.
We are in spring now with temps routinely in the high 30’s (remember 36C is roughly 99F) and the climate is at its driest time of the year. Because of the break in we sleep with all windows closed and a fan on in our room so it’s hot, not as hot as Sudan, but hot enough to be bothered by it. In any case is makes for a challenging night’s sleep, and a nap each day.
I’m slowly getting a hand on the pathology of male patients with HIV and look forward to travelling to outlying hospitals and with Lynne around the country. That will come in time. The rhythm is slower here, refreshing at some level once one gets used to it, costly if you are on our ward for the weekend and get sick as you might not come to the attention of the medical staff unless a capable nurse speaks up. We simply are understaffed on weekends and can’t round on everyone.
It is derisively referred to as “Botswana time” by expats. I actually like the pace, the down side being that there is potential medical cost to pace that is more measured. Finding middle ground will come in time.